Each of us has that inner voice that cheers us on and makes us aware that we have all that it takes inside of us to succeed and triumph. However, we also have another voice that is our biggest critic, our worst enemy, our longstanding nemesis.
Many refer to this dichotomy as the dark and light sides of us, the good and the bad.
Whatever you want to call it, the dialogue run between these two sides on a daily basis can be lethal when the critical inner voice get the upper hand and your sense of self worth and confidence take a hit that is hard to come back from.
What is a critical inner voice?
The critical inner voice or sometimes known as the inner critic is a label given to a group or series of judgmental and critical thoughts.
At times it could seem like an actual person living inside your head, but in reality it is a thought or multiple thoughts that seems targeted at breaking down you sense of self worth and self confidence or the belief in self.
How do you go about transcending the critical inner voice?
Take Notice:
Become aware when critical and judgemental thoughts are whirling around in your mind. Take note of the moment they appear in your consciousness. It could be a good exercise to track this over a period of time.
Stay tuned in and guard for signs of the critical inner voices piping up. You could be more alert at times that you know you are particularly vulnerable or susceptible to criticism.
You may begin to notice that this voice could chime in at any time from the moment you open your eyes to the very last moments before you drift off to sleep at night.
It could say: ”You should never have stood up, now everyone is looking at you and they’re going to laugh at you for being stupid” and on and on it goes.
Whatever the thought may be the main thrust is to diminish your belief in your own ability to succeed and to decrease your self confidence.
2. Observe:
Being aware that those thoughts come from your critical inner voice can help you shift your consciousness to that of an observer.
As you observe you could notice that thoughts come and go freely and that you don’t have to entertain or engage with them.
You may find that you are tempted to argue a point with your inner critic, but this is not always advisable; remember your inner critic knows where all of your weaknesses lie and engaging if your confidence is running low could cause a downward spiral of increased negative self talk.
Observe and identify that the thought is part of your inner critic only and not your real view.
3. Stop! Do not take action.
At times your inner critical voice can be incessant as it spurs you on to take action. “You should shut up and sit down, no one wants to hear what you have to say”. Whatever action this mean inner critic tells you to do, do the opposite instead.
Although this can be difficult when your inner critic is shouting at you in the middle of a presentation in front of a hundred people, you can still resist and reject its advice. Do the opposite!
When you persist in our resistance and do the opposite, over time you will find you’re able to be more assertive when it comes to your inner critic and eventually you’ll become more resilient and even challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone more often.
4. Identify the triggers.
As your awareness of your inner critical voice grows, you may notice specific situations trigger those voices or thoughts more than others. For some people it could be a feeling of not being enough, of being overlooked or ignored while for another it could be a specific word directed at them.
Whatever it may be for you, try to identify the trigger that sets off your critical inner voice.
Become aware of what is happening in your life, but also what you are telling yourself about what is happening. More often than not what we tell ourselves is often linked to the past, for example, if you grew up feeling ignored and inadequate chances are you would be sensitive in situations that bring up those feelings.
If you become aware of situations in your life that trigger your critical inner voice, you are able to anticipate what will turn those feelings on and understand it is your reaction related to the past rather than a present reality.
Beneath the surface of constant critical attack on the self there often resides a history of painful memories or even childhood trauma.
It is imperative that you treat yourself with compassion and understand that you are able to separate your real self and who you would like to be in the world from the cruel and distorted filter of your critical inner voice that tells you who you are and what you deserve.
This is an ongoing process of disconnect from the dialogue with the inner critic but every day that you prevail and step out and resist your inner nemesis is a triumph well worth documenting as you reveal your resilient efforts in taking action that reflect both your true self and your best interest.
What do you do to transcend your inner critic to help you thrive?
Leave a comment in the box below, I would love to hear from you.
